Confessions of a Control Freak

I write down everything, I make lists, timelines, due dates and set up reminders everywhere... I fear what I can't control.... or can't predict the outcome of... letting others do the things that I believe only I can do is a nightmare... I make up scenarios in my mind about how conversations or situations will turn out. Then I truly hope that they turn out that way... or else I feel like I failed... I love in an overwhelming way, and when it's not accepted or reciprocated I feel unloved.... I like labels, I always want to know what I am to people and I want others to be aware of it... so when I have no label, I feel unimportant... I wish I could keep people in my life forever, because in my mind love is eternal, so when people leave, I feel like it's my fault... I am so stubborn that God has had to daily remind me to "Be still" and just the thought of staying put makes me anxious... I despise not being able to comprehend things that I cannot change.... when I don't understand I obsess over trying to understand it... I attempt to have a solution for EVERYTHING...if I can't solve it I feel useless... I am overprotective and have a strong motherly instinct to the point where I suffocate people with how involved I wish to be in their lives... If I see those I love struggle, I will give anything to ease their pain and suffering... I attempt to be an anchor without realizing that means that I'm sinking... My need to control things... or situations.... ironically controls me....