I've become a poster child for the very trait that I denied He had.
For almost three years it seemed impossible for me to see God as good or even trustworthy. How can I trust a God that doesn't seem to be in control?
Good? God being good? How can He be? Those I held close have fallen into the very snares that He was supposed to protect them from.
Good? How can I say He is when I stood there catching my breath as panic gripped my heart and mind with all the worst possible outcomes.
Good? When the world falls further and further into a rabbit hole and I stand there thinking "I missed my chance to fulfill my dreams"
Lies... that's what I believed. I chose to see Him through the lens of those lies. I couldn't see that the very thing keeping me alive was His goodness.
The choices people make don't determine His goodness... it determines theirs...
When panic was gripping me, He was standing right in front of me hoping I would notice as He tried to coach me to breathe.
Time is but a worldly construct that makes you believe that it determines your fate... but it doesn't.
I chose to trade my prison for freedom, the lies for truth, poisonous mindsets for renewal. The thing about God is that what you deny about His character will be what you one day proclaim on the rooftops.
I've been sitting in His goodness all along